The Roman Empire | Julio-Claudian Dynasty (27 BC – AD 68)

The First Dynasty (27 BC-68 AD) – The Julio-Claudian Dynasty

From “Build Back Better” to “Burn Them ALL!!!”

“First was Augustus, wisest and strongest,

Next came Tiberius, darkest, and moodiest.

Alas came Caligula, ye “Little Boots,” the nuttiest and wackiest of them all,

Hear the tale of Claudius, lame to the last,

And of Nero, last of the name…er…dynasty”

The first dynasty held the promise of a better future for the empire. From aqueducts, temples, and statues, to military reforms, conquests, and conspiracies; this was the dynasty that set the tone for the future lives of the purple-clad. Even as the dynasty was in decline, its emperor vowing to destroy it all to build anew, the Senators were unwilling to end the dynasty.

The dynasty is remarkable for opening up citizenship to the many inhabitants in the provinces, initiating construction projects on a grand scale, and establishing world peace that would last centuries. Arguably the greatest, its end was ignoble, its last emperor the victim of a reluctant suicide. This is the story of the First Dynasty of the greatest empire the world would ever see.

Gaius Octavian Caesar (27 BC-14 AD)

Maybe the greatest emperor of them all, the number of statues and stories to his name are incalculable. Master of propaganda, the Senate itself had to force him to take up the imperial purple. Named Augustus, Octavian has several distinctions to his name, among them not only being the “Father of Italy,” but also the creator of the world’s first Fire-fighter service.

Why do we remember him today?

The Ara Pacis was commissioned in his name in 13 BC. Translating to “Altar of Augustan Peace,” the altar was originally to be found on the west side of the Via Flamina where time and neglect buried it under 4 meters of soil.

Ara Pacis Augustae (Altar of Augustan Peace), 9 B.C.E. (Ara Pacis Museum, Rome, Italy) (photo: Courtesy of Steven Zucker)

Now, it is a museum in its own name, the “Ara Pacis Museum,” located in Rome, and alongside several other interesting sites next to the Piazza Augusto Imperatore. You can get there via a number of bus shuttle services.

Augustus was a prolific builder. Well, his subordinate, Marcus Vipsanius Agrippa, was the guy mostly interested in building. Augustus mostly saw the construction efforts as a way of creating jobs to get people busy and the devil away. In any case, there are a number of civic constructions tied to Augustus. Among the more popular ones may include the Arch of Augustus at Rimini, Italy, located on the west of the Alcido Cervi Park. There are regular trains to Piazza Tre Martiri, and buses to Arco d`Argosto. A better experience would be a walk down the Corso d`Augusto where you slowly see the arch in its magnificence as you draw closer.

Credit: Shutterstock.

Part of the walls that surrounded the city of Rimini can still be seen at the site. The Senate commissioned its building to honor Augustus in 27 BC. It may also have been a gag intending to imply Rome still needed strong walls, gates, and traditions. Sadly, they were not destroyed in some epoch ending struggle for Rome. In the 1920s, fascists, looking to create a closer tie with Rome’s vaunted history.

The Domus Augusti was Augusts’ home, built on the Palatine Hill. This is prime real estate for those interested in Roman History. The Palatine Hill is home to a number of famous constructions from the Romans.  For one, there is the equally famous Domus Augustana, though not for the formidable Livia, and found right on the same hill. We also have the Domus Tiberiana, the Domus Severiana, the Domus Transitoria…I am not making them up, they are really there! The Romans were not so different from us today for they recognized the 49^th Law of Power: location, location, location!

Interior view of the Domus Augusti. Courtesy of Wikipedia Commons.

Getting here is a relatively easy 10 minute ride by car along Via Cavour. Regular shuttle services from the city centre take twice as long, while travel by foot along the Via Nazionale takes thrice as long as by car.

Interesting tit-bit…

Augustus’ influence on history is near-legendary. During his time, many conquerors emulated Alexander the Great in his conquests and achievements. Today, we measure up against Augustus. When Napoleon III was nosing around far from home, he commissioned the first attempt to recover the buried complex in 1865. Another attempt was made in 1937. See the link?

The Senate – those splendiferously generous contractors – are also behind the Mausoleum of Augustus. In 28 BC they commissioned the construction of this mausoleum, probably hinting at Augustus not to stick around for too long. Sadly, Augustus, though prone to sickness, stuck around for much longer than any would imagine, slowly and inevitably watching on coldly as they threw dirt over the graves of his compatriots. An aerial view of the construct is awe-inspiring:

There are ramps built on the inside that let you walk around the circular building. Touring is free for Romans…I mean Rome’s residents. Travel by car on the Via del Muro Torto gets you there in 10 minutes from the city center. An 8 minute walk from Spanga gets you there just the same if you drop off the metro, and for those willing to take in more of Rome’s sites by foot they can spend half an hour along Via Berberini.

The Foro di Augosto is another massive construction that was built in 42 BC, right after Octavian took out Brutus and Cassius for the most famous backstab in world history. The building is located right in the center of Rome and managing to secure this prime real estate took Augustus some 40 years. It would have been easier to kick out the former tenants residing on the piece of land upon which the forum was built, but that would have been bad publicity.

Image Courtesy of Shutterstock.

Later emperors added in their own bits and pieces over time. There was even a monastery built over the remains of the site in the 9^th century. While today the site is far from the magnificent spectacle it was intended, it remains a popular tourist site in the evenings where light shows are made. Walking along the Via Alessandrina gets you there almost as fast as a metro ride after the stop at Cavour. A number of tour buses stop at the Fori Imperiali just outside the forum, or at Cavour/Ricci for just 1 Euro.

Called Augustus of Prima Porta, this 2m high marble statue was created in 1 BC by a famous sculptor whose name is lost to history…
It looks scruffy right now, but back before it was excavated from under his wife’s villa, it should have been painted in vivid colors with the cloak, armor, tunic, and skirts in colors contemporaries of their age favored.

Curious about why he seems to be hailing someone in the distance?
This is actually a design style known as ad locutio or adlocutio. It is Italian for ‘general addressing the troops’. You see, back then, there were no loudspeakers available for addressing loud crowds. Worse, sometimes impromptu speeches would be made at forums or in the fields to address masses.

The ancients had a genius way of dealing with large audiences; the speaker in question would strut on stage, maintaining poses and stances such as the one above as they spoke their heart’s desires. Then, guys below stage would relay his speeches to teams who would re-tell the speech to guys at the back.
Of course, fidelity was in question and most times the speeches transmitted to the back would be truncated – if lucky – or horribly mangled and distorted, hence the lack of historical records of fields speeches.

Another unfortunate side-effect of this system was that the guys giving the speech would often have to maintain some awkward poses for minutes on end. The best orators would gauge the crowd, trying to see what stage of the speech the guys at the back were then hearing. Still, for a world without loudspeakers…

Today, there are many replicas of this particular statue around, including one at Braga, Portugal, where the statue appears painted in human skin, the toga is in red, and the breastplate appropriately colored as well. The main reason this particular design and artistic style is favored is because it represents a height in sculpting. The statue is alive, so-to-speak, and is said to be in motion, well proportioned, and highlighting an important part of our history. For instance, the breastplate has a scene commemorating a Parthian – ancient frenemies of the Romans – handing back the Roman Eagle to Augustus. The legionary standard had been lost several decades earlier and its return was a testament to Augustus’ leadership.

Augustus as Jupiter.

Augustus had a big problem he had to address: directly claiming himself emperor was bound to provoke the regicidal Senate that had already taken out his great uncle, Julius Caesar.

But letting go of the reins of power was also unpalatable.

First, Augustus called himself princeps, a political term roughly translating to ‘first citizen.’ It was as republican as one could go before outright declaring themselves a king. Next, Augustus undertook numerous construction and vanity projects that employed Romans in the tens of thousands. You have seen several samples of private and public buildings. At a time when the rich landowners and the wealthy would prefer hiring slaves to work on their plantations, farm, and homes, unemployment rates were so high that…well, only modern comparisons can measure.

A statue like the above was both a vanity project and a political gimmick. Augustus could not outright declare himself emperor if he wanted to keep himself from getting stabbed 23 times. Yes, the Romans were so caught up on traditions they demanded Brutus be the first to stick the pointy end in good ol’ Caesar. So don’t be astonished that Augustus might have ended up with such a fate.

What Augustus did was order such statues sculpted. They portrayed himself as Jupiter and, by extension, elevated his status way above the rest of the Senate. He was pater patriae, ‘father of the country,’ and the honor he was accorded was truly astonishing. To put into perspective how highly regarded he was, Romans once rioted in Rome when they heard he refused to stand for Consul of Rome, the highest office that was reserved for two individuals.

The idea that the Senate was trying to side-line Augustus from power inflamed the citizens of Rome and they threatened to burn down the city with the Senators tied to columns. As a way to mollify the people, the Senate took to electing only one Consul, leaving the other seat empty and waiting for Augustus should he deign to take it up.

Such was Augustus’ appeal and favorability among his people. He could have taken up the post of emperor, but he was too cautious and sinister to do so. In this way, he could effectively declare himself emperor without actually taking that last step.

The demerits

A smooth operator, Augustus made one mistake; Livia. Okay, maybe not a mistake…I am probably being heavily influenced by her portrayal in the TV series Rome. Livia Drusila was his third and last wife. She also outlived him. In the eyes of many – and Augustus most importantly – Livia was the perfect woman to take on the mantle of first matron, the perfect model of a Roman noble woman. They say Augustus dropped his wife for Augustus because he received word of an omen that an eagle dropped a pregnant hen with a laurel wreath in its mouth on Livia’s lap. Remember, omens were a big deal to these people.

In The Odyssey, Telemachus does not make a move without an omen indicating the gods’ favor and the reformed Odysseus only advances once he is sure of favorable signs. So for Augustus who wished for a son, such a well-bred woman, a proven mother of two sons, was a perfect enough fit for a wife that he divorced Scribonia, his second wife, on the very day she gave birth to his daughter!

You can see why I am not happy with this line of plot.

Augustus’ second demerit has much to do with his cunning and stage management.

When the Second Triumvirate was taking over, they initiated a series of executions and sanctioned looting of Senators and leading men of Rome. It was a time of political strife and uncertainty, yes, but killing off some 300 Senators plus 2000 notables was a bit much. The great orator, Cicero, was a victim of these proscriptions. He was the leading political opponent of Octavian at the time, and his opposition may have made it more difficult for the Second Triumvirate to take over. Worse, the idea that these proscriptions were deliberate designs to create wealth for their military campaigns leaves an ashy taste in the mouth.

Another instance where Augustus did away with due process was during a supposed plot against Augustus led by a number of guys, including one Lucius Licinus Varro Murena.

Murena was a governor of Macedonia and during his stay, waged an unsanctioned war against one of the client kingdoms of the Romans. When brought before the Senate to answer charges of why he did so, he claimed to have received orders direct from Augustus. Of course, Augustus refused the claim, effectively backstabbing the poor Murena.
The issue at stake was that Macedonia was a Senatorial region, meaning only the Senate could administer and decide what happened there. If the public were to know that Augustus summarily ordered the destruction of an ally of Rome that was within the privilege of the Senate, people would see him for the Emperor that he vehemently refused he was. So?

Deny, deny, deny.

Poor Murena was so distraught he was pulled into a plot against Augustus that somehow had the exact number of 23 conspirators…kidding. The trial against these plotters as a travesty. Tiberius – the future emperor – was installed as prosecutor, and the accused were subject to summary executions wherever they were caught. The law required that such notable citizens received their day and say in court but the Deep State Augustus run was too deep…

Conclusion

By the time Augustus died, his favorites for succession were already dead as well. Tiberius appears to have been the main man left and with Livia probably pushing Augustus into it, won the race. Worse, there were rumors going around that Livia had been keeping Augustus on a steady diet of poisoned figs she especially grew. Others say that he did not die of poisoning as a form of assassination but rather a choice of suicide because of his declining health. Augustus died in AD 14.

The Emperor is Dead!

Long Live the Emperor!

Summary.

Tiberius Caesar Augustus (42 BC – AD 37)

Among historian circles, many call Tiberius Darth Emperor. He is probably the moodiest emperor in history. He was so disappointed in life that even before Augustus died, Tiberius had decided to retire from public life and retreated to a villa in Rhodes. His happiest times were probably when Marcellus and Agrippa were alive; they were Augustus’ favorites for successor. To Tiberius, they alive meant less work for himself. So when they died one after the other, Tiberius probably felt the world was conspiring against him.

A bust of Tiberius, now at the Musee Saint-Raymond, Toulouse

Early Life

While Tiberius was not as spectacular as his predecessor, he was no slouch. From the earliest, it would seem that Augustus intended for Tiberius to one day inherit the power that was in the family. Tiberius was initially, married to Vipsania, the daughter of Agrippa. Later, when Agrippa died, Augustus forced Tiberius to divorce Agrippa in favor of his own daughter. It was a loveless marriage doomed to failure.

To us, it appears strange that Augustus intended for his step-son to inherit his power sometime in the far future by securing his marriage to the daughter of his most capable and loyal man. However, unlike we in the modern age, the Romans took adoptions very seriously. Serious enough that one’s parents did not have to die in order for you to be adopted by another. Serious enough that sometimes, the adopted son was more highly valued and placed than one’s own biological issue.

Adopting capable young men was a trend practiced among the rich and politically powerful mostly. Many Roman emperors during the calmer periods of their history actually favored this method. One could be lucky enough to sire a capable son. However, the world was a cruel place back then; the odds of disease or war killing off your children was high. Worse, among the rich and powerful, one could not gain the respect of their peers if they lacked established records following from a military career. In fact, membership in the Senate was restricted to those that had never served in Rome’s armies.

In a good war, you stood a good chance of acquiring laurels that would push you into the Senate or some other high seat of authority. In a bad conflict, the odds of your son’s death were far too high. Remember that Caesar was captured by pirates once in his youth. His counterpart in the First Triumvirate, Crassus, was captured by the Parthians and is largely responsible for that scene in Game of Thrones where Khal Drogo goes medieval and says, “Crown for king.”

A surer bet was to adopt a capable youngster and sweep away all obstacles to their future ascendance. Nerva did this for Trajan. In turn, Trajan did it for Hadrian. Hadrian adopted Antoninus who in turn was to adopt his next successor. These were among Rome’s most successful emperors – Machiavelli’s Five Good Emperors – and we can say that the system worked. A hardworking millionaire would not want his wealth lost. Inheritance laws, the Lex Falcida, were harsh to women, so it was better to secure your succession and power.

Ah Commodus…

Back to Tiberius anywho…

The child of Nero – not him – and Livia Drusilla – her – Tiberius was slated to acquire high positions even if he would not eventually become the most powerful man in Rome. His career was most notable as a prosecutor where he handled some famous cases, including the one surrounding poor Murena. He worked as a grain monitor, an inspector among slave quarters, and even as some kind of military police checking up on draft dodgers who were supposed to go into the army.

Interesting tit bit:

Romans practiced slavery. But the laws against maltreatment of slaves were pretty elaborate. These laws were mostly a reaction to the Servile Wars – including the one by Spartacus – in the hope of keeping hope alive for the slaves.

For Romans, enlistment into the armies was quite important. Civilians were expected to serve and some would try get out of conscription by pretending to be slaves bought and sold. These ‘slaves’ would go on to live the most lavish lifestyles and it was the work of investigators like Tiberius to sniff them out.

Tiberius’ career in the military was pretty good. He recovered Crassus’ standards from the Parthians and organized the return to the throne of Rome’s client king Tigranes. Moreover, his fighting among the Germans and Gauls was enough to land him a triumph in 9 BCE.

Note that triumphs were especially reserved for the most successful generals of Rome. They were also political, with many Senators and later emperors fearing that really successful generals would gain too much popularity and put ideas in heads they should not. For Augustus, this was not a problem, given his own popularity. So Tiberius’ triumph was likely a political gimmick intended to increase his own popularity among the people.

When Agrippa died, Augustus’ plans were wrecked. Of course, misery loves company and Tiberius was it. Tiberius was forced to divorce Vipsania to instead marry Augustus’ own daughter Julia.

Now, don’t get confused about the whole step-brother-sister marrying. They were not really blood related. Plus, the Targaryens were already doing it…

The forced divorce and marriage drove Tiberius into misery and in 6 BCE he sent himself into an 8-year long exile. He was done with politics, marriage, life, and everything else in between.

Emperor

Emperor Tiberius was not an emperor when Augustus died. Instead, like Augustus, Tiberius was probably cautious about a group of random but oddly specific 23 Senators ganging up on him for a stab party…

He was princeps but not Augustus or pater familiae. The Senate wanted him to take up these titles. The most miserable Emperor in the world detested the idea of leading and actually hated the Senators for pushig him into the throne. Actually, Tiberius wanted the Senate to take up their old profession of ruling the country. However, it was too late; the ship had sailed and even the Senators knew they had to have someone in charge.

A villa in Capri, where Tiberius spent most of his life.

Demerits: Germanicus

A bust of Germanicus, now at the Louvre, Paris.

Tiberius, like all proper leaders, was good at removing obstacles. One of these obstacles was a guy called Germanicus, the period’s most famous and successful general. Germanicus had taken over command of frontier troops in then Germany and led them into a successful military campaign.

These soldiers were already unhappy with Tiberius for a number of reasons. First, Tiberius was reluctant about doing any leading. The People was confused over who was in charge in Rome, the Senate bewildered over Tiberius’ orders, and the army annoyed at being ignored. So when Germanicus and Tiberius’ son arrived at the border, they were happy. They were happier when Germanicus led them to victory. They were ecstatic when Germanicus landed a triumph in Rome. To many, it was clear that Germanicus would come into power.

Nope!

Germanicus died a year after his triumph, supposedly the victim of an assassination by the Pisones, a family with very close ties to Livia Drusilla. As the story goes, Piso, the governor accused of murdering Germanicus, supposedly planned to accuse Tiberius of ordering the hit. If the army and the people were to hear that Tiberius was killing off his own generals, things would probably turn ugly.

Nope!

Remember old moody? Tiberius was so unwilling to rule that the Senate was happy to keep him around. Germanicus, a young and popular general was dead. They were left with an emperor so unwilling to lead that he exiled himself far from Rome. What was there not to like?

So good old governor Piso had his day in court. However, it was clear to him that the Senate was not interested in his ‘lies.’ He committed suicide, and that was it.

Demerits: Sejanus

Sejanus’ existence was another black mark against Tiberius. When Augustus died, he left an imperial administrative body to help with the job of ruling.

Help, not actually rule.

What Tiberius did was leave everything in the hands of this administrative engine. Most specifically, in the hands of a former slave by the name of Tetanus…I mean Sejanus.

Note that slaves back then were not as we imagine them today. Remember the adoption business? Sometimes a father would even adopt a loyal slave and leave them in charge of their young children when it was clear they were dying. Slaves in Roman society were not as we see in Spartacus; some could rise to very high station.

Sejanus was this kind of slave, and with a master like Tiberius, in charge of everything. When Drusus, Tiberius’ son, died, Sejanus’ net worth rose even higher. He moved around the Praetorian Guard, placing them in the city proper, ready to respond to orders. Sejanus was a hidden blade that was used against Senators, and was responsible for the deaths of quite a number of Senators and notables. According to rumors, some of the victims of Sejanus’ secret murders included Germanicus’ widow and her two children.

Unfortunately, Sejanus was not a smooth operator. He tried to marry into the Claudian family but had to back off. This did not stop him from trying to acquire closer ties to the emperor. His greatest blunder, however, was getting caught up in a supposed plot to kill Tiberius and take over as princeps.

Remember, the idea of ‘emperor’ was far from the minds of people and even as Tiberius ruled, he only ruled as first citizen.

When the plot somehow came out, Tiberius handled the affair like a boss. Sejanus was supposedly invited before the Senate  in what he assumed was a regular meeting. They were good at these kinds of ambushes; Caesar himself never suspected a thing before a randomly specific group of 23 knife wielding Senators tried to see whether the man was actually the Son of Venus and immortal…

Sejanus was immediately arrested as a letter – written by Tiberius himself – condemned him to immediate execution. Within a week, Sejanus and many others close to him were dead.

Conclusion

As you probably realized by now, I appear to have written more about the people around Tiberius than Tiberius himself. His disinterest in the job of ruling what was slowly becoming an Empire was truly low. He had immense distaste for the Senators, and while he also kept from outright declaring himself Emperor, he did not pursue the other trappings of power.

Even after the plot by Sejanus, Tiberius kept himself aloof from the job of ruling. Back when Drusus died, Tiberius did not bother with naming or indicating an heir. It was this disregard for management that probably gave Sejanus the guts to start seriously eying the ultimate seat.

When Sejanus died, Tiberius still did not care. The Parthians invaded once, but he still did not care. The Dacians and Germans also sent a few waves into the Empire…the moodiest Emperor in history did not care.

He cared enough to order the deaths of hundreds involved in Sejanus’ plot, but not enough to do more. This disconnection with the rest of the empire was so high that contemporary writers, peeved at him, begun manufacturing stories about just what was going on in Capri. Suetonius had stories ranging from Tiberius hosting grand orgies to molesting children.

Tiberius’ greatest sign of caring was to make Caligula a quaestor. It was the really the lowest official rank one could hold in the cursus honorium, but this was as far as Tiberius was willing to go for the son of Germanicus, the man he supposedly ordered killed.

His death was as dramatic as it was anti-climatic. In AD 37, Tiberius just suddenly stopped breathing. People flocked to Caligula, praising him and congratulating his ascension to the throne. There was a new sheriff in town, and the right people wanted to rub their noses on the proper rear-ends.

Nope!

All of a sudden, Tiberius decided to start breathing again. When word got out, the bunch of brown-nosers immediately split. There are rumors that some actually reached the Japanese islands and were planning an expedition even further just to escape the pogroms they knew were coming their way…

Nope!

When in AD 31 Sejanus was executed for his delusions of grandeur, a man named Naevius Sutorius Macro took over as commander of the Praetorian Guard. When Tiberius decided that he was not done being miserable and decided to come back to life, Macro was having none of it.

The old emperor was mumbling something about ‘Drown them All!’ A smart man, Macro had a Jaime Lannister moment and realized that he was probably among those the old emperor was imagining of drowning. According to the most reliable stories surrounding Tiberius’ death, Macro smothered the emperor to death where he lay, preferring to take his chances with the new emperor.

The Emperor is Dead!

No, really, the Emperor is Dead!

Long Live the Emperor!

No, really, just die, okay??

Summary.

Gaius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (AD 12 – AD 41)

AKA, Caligula, “Boots.”

Marble statue of Caligula, now at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.

Named after Rome’s most famous generals, he was intended for greatness. However, in the words of Immortan Joe, he was mediocre. Caligula was named after both Julius Caesar and Germanicus. His father was Germanicus, a grandson of Mark Anthony. His mother Agrippina the Elder was the grand-daughter of Augustus and daughter of Agrippa. By all accounts, he was slated for the imperial throne that none that has sat upon as yet would call a throne. If it were any other period in history, he would have secured his place in history as both heir intended and future emperor.

But then there was Tiberius in charge…

Early Life

In 19 AD, disaster struck the family; Germanicus died, his death rumored to be by the design of Tiberius. Agrippina was not allowed to remarry lest her name and give power to a rival of the emperor. Worse, both Agrippina and Nero – not him – were exiled in 29 AD, resulting in the death of Nero – obviously nor him.

Another brother was charged with treason in 30 AD and died in prison in 33 AD, likely because of a Colombian necktie. A wife, Junia Claudilla, died the same year. Though Caligula was remanded into the care of the emperor in Capri, it seems he lived on a knife’s edge. It was this experience that likely turned him into one of the most vicious emperors the Romans ever hosted.

Emperor

Tiberius died under mysterious circumstances, the rumor being that he was smothered after pulling a resurrection. These rumors may indeed be true; Macro, the Praetorian Prefect, was a close supporter of Caligula and supposedly prevented the emperor from acting on his suspicion of the young man.

As emperor, Caligula was extremely popular. He was the son of Germanicus. He threw parties for the entire city for three whole months. The armies received donatives from him. The people called him “our star.” The famous ‘LIST’ Tiberius is said to have maintained was destroyed, relieving many people, including the ones that were just crossing into Japan as they fled Tiberius. Taxes were dropped, the wicked were chased away, and gladiatorial games hosted. To many, he was the prince that was promised. Most importantly, he was NOT Tiberius. Unlike his predecessors, Caligula actually wanted to be recognized as emperor. One of his earliest acts was to consign building projects such as the Aqua Claudia.

The Aqua Claudia, just outside of Rome at the Parco degli Acquedotti.

The Porta Maggiore, part of what remains of the Aqua Anio Novus. In 271 AD, the Emperor Aurelian decided to integrate the aqueduct into the Aurelian Wall that he built around the city in the hope it would provide a better defense in the Empire’s most troubling century.

The Vatican Obelisk, taken from Egypt by Caligula himself.

Caligula would go on to sponsor many vanity projects that he hoped would increase his favorability among the people. In Syracuse, he repaired city walls and temples. In Rhegium and Sicily, he ordered that harbors be expanded. He ordered the building or completion of temples, amphitheaters, racetracks, palaces, and other buildings either initiated by others or himself in Rome, Ephesus, and Samos.

Yeah, the honeymoon lasted all of seven months. Then Caligula went ill – likely poisoned – and he let the wrong one in.

Another Darth Emperor?

Within a year, Macro – the Praetorian Prefect that had protected Caligula from Tiberius – was dead. Caligula also quickly had Tiberius Gemellus – one of Tiberius’ candidates as successor – executed. There are rumors that the dark emperor also had Gemellus’ mother killed as well when she protested the killing. Two other close family members, his father in law and his brother in law, were also executed. His sister Julia Drussila died of a fever the same year – maybe maybe – and the other two sisters were exiled. Caligula hated being known as someone related to anything related to Augustus and went to great lengths to besmirch the name of Agrippa and Augustus.

He also hated goats for some reason…

Caligula was devious to friends as well. He invited Ptolemy of Mauretania to his court – a client kingdom of Rome – then promptly had the man executed before invading his kingdom. The success appears to have convinced him he was a genius because he quickly turned his eyes north to Britannia; the conquest of Britain would place him on a pedestal as high as his namesake Caesar himself.

The campaign was such a failure that historians claim it was only a training mission and not a real invasion. Caligula supposedly ordered that Gauls be forced to wear German clothing during his ‘triumph’ in Rome – few would notice that they were Gauls pretending to be Britons wearing German clothing. They paraded exotics from the conquest; tiny fishing boats and sea shells from the shore. Officially, Caligula had won the war up there. Unofficially, he was said to have been so mad he pulled a King Xerxes by ordering the sea be whipped.

His madness went from vanity projects to feats of grandeur. First, he ordered a pontoon bridge similar to what Xerxes built crossing from Baiae to Puteoli. Then the emperor – who could not swim – rode his horse while wearing a breastplate of Alexander. He built a couple of massive ships for pleasure on the Lake Nemi – the smaller one dedicated to the goddess Diana. They survived to the modern era before suffering under aerial bombardments during WWII. What remains of their remains are husks along.

He declared himself a god and planned to declare his favorite horse Incitatus a Roman Consul. In AD 40, he declared he would leave Rome for good and settle in Egypt where he would live eternal as a god. He failed in these particular ambition, but would succeed in other endeavors.

Remember the LIST Tiberius had of his enemies that was supposedly destroyed?

Caligula is said to have brought it back. When Augustus and Tiberius ruled, the Senate clamored to have a sitting emperor around. Caligula wanted to rule in person and the Senate was unhappy about that. They were even more unhappy about Caligula going around the city and sleeping with their wives and daughters as part of his persona as a god. Maybe the fat old men in the Senate were unhappy about Caligula insisting they run beside his chariot as he raced around? When Caligula died, the Senate attempted to declare a damnatio memoraie, the wiping of all memory of his existence from history. It was impossible; the man had built too many testaments to his memory to disappear.

Caligula then brought back the list, murmuring something about the lists may be being true or something. Senators started dying right and left. Trials led to high-ranking individuals being executed, among them both a brother-in-law of the emperor, a governor of Germany, and a Consul of Rome.

Caligula’s madness was so profound he started ordering statues be beheaded, replacing them with his own head. During a gladiatorial match, he ordered the criminals and slaves executed for the pleasure of the crowds.

They were thrilled!

When Caligula run out of captives to execute, he ordered a section of the spectators themselves be slaughtered instead.

They were not so thrilled.

It was too much!
By 41 AD, Caligula had been the subject of multiple attempted assassinations and coups. The odds were not in his favor; when he declared his intention to move to Egypt, what remained of the Senate finally got their act together and conspired with certain members of the Praetorian Guard.

You see, for the Senate, a move to Egypt would create a different center of power; one away from where the Senate was concentrated. For the Praetorians, a move to Egypt would also create a division between themselves and the rest of the Roman army. Praetorians, selected from the best legionnaires, would suddenly find themselves isolated and perhaps facing their former colleagues in combat.

Plus, Caligula did not help matters by calling members of his own guard names like “Priapus” or “Venus,” names that were distinctively unmanly and demeaning for this bunch of bad-asses. Maybe the emperor was confident in some of the German members of his guard. Comparatively, they were stockier of build, and would likely have appeared far more manly and powerful than their Latin counterparts.

On 24 January, AD 41, Caligula was ambushed by members of his non-Germanic guard as he was preparing a drama with a group of young actors. In an act that was an appalling and unacceptable break from tradition, several of the Praetorians stabbed Caligula an unreasonable 30 times when 23 was the traditional number. They cannot be blamed; tradition also dictated that such projects be conducted by Senators, not professional soldiers who are unfortunately illiterate. In either case, 23…30…what’s the difference?

Darth Emperor is Dead!

Long Live the Cripple!

Summary.

Tiberius Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (10 BC – AD 54)

Yes, I also noticed; these guys need to find a way to establish their own identities, not live off of the glories of their forbearers!

But then again, this was the idea. The death of a ruler had to be secured by the ascension of a figure everyone could get behind. Romans practiced emperor-worship and for most commoners, the Emperor ruled eternal. Such naming conventions might have helped.

What happened in the aftermath of Caligula’s Assassination?

The assassination was a shambles; Caligula’s loyal Germans burst into the scene and – themselves also illiterate and unable to tell the tiny Italians apart – just went slashing around and killed innocents, Senators, and spectators alike. Caligula’s death was quickly followed by his wife Caesonia and their daughter. The poor baby – two years old at the time – was Caligula’s only child. One of the murderous conspirators looked down at the cute babe in the cradle, picked her up and smashed her head against a wall.

Maybe he was upset that he had had to give up some of his pay at the donation boxes marked “Julia’s Food” and “Julia’s Drink” that Caligula had spread across the city. Imperial taxes had been raised because of the birth of Julia, so the murderer’s anger was reasonable. Or maybe it was because Caligula would often pull a Scrooge every new year, taking off his sandals before walking barefoot and swimming across mounds and heaps of gold…

The conspirators also tried to get their hands on Claudius – Caligula’s remaining uncle – but the miserable fellow managed to escape death. By killing off what remained of the Julio-Claudian dynasty, the conspiring Senators hoped to take back power. They failed.

Take note: Claudius had been saved by a rival faction of the Praetorian Guard, hiding him away until after the furor was over. Notice a pattern? The Praetorians appear to have been at the center of the downfall of at least two emperors out of three by then. And now, they were responsible for the ascension of at least two emperors. They were a problem. In the future, who knows what they would become?

Early Life

A bust of Claudius, now at the Naples National Archaeological Museum

After the disaster that was Caligula, the terror that was Tiberius, and the visionary that was Augustus, Claudius was…tepid. Like coffee days old, you can smell the past glory but it wouldn’t matter no matter how much you drunk.

Claudius was born in misery. He walked with a limp, perennially sick and slightly deaf since birth, his was a sight so miserable that not even Tiberius or Caligula could stand the thought of killing the man even as everyone else was killed. In the eyes of these two, Claudius could never threaten them in any way and he was allowed to live. Not even the conspirators responsible for Caligula’s death took him serious enough to commit to his elimination. The result?

Claudius was practically the sole blood relation to Caligula left alive in the aftermath of the purges, executions, and assassinations. Like Caligula, his pedigree was excellent; the grandson of Mark Anthony and Augustus’s sister Octavia, he could trace his bloodline back to Caesar himself. Unlike Caligula – who wanted nothing more than to erase his heritage – Claudius actually encouraged rumors that he was in fact an illegitimate son of Augustus himself.

Why?

His sickness.

Born with a limp and perennially ill, many in his family were disgusted at the sight of the poor man. His own mother called him a monster and pawned him off to his grandmother. His grandmother in turn left him in the care of a mule driver, hoping the stolid man would whip the limp into something stiffer. When the imperial family was list of its clan members, his name came in last, slotted in at the edge of the stone block. Somehow, there was no space for him while there was room for long dead members of the clan.

There are rumors that he was either entirely forgotten and left out of the list, or that on one night he took it upon himself to sneak out and inscribe his name on it by himself.

Books and scrolls saved Claudius.

They also almost damned him.

Young Claudius imagined himself a scholar and historian. In this bout of youthful optimism and truthfulness, he proceeded to write a biography of Augustus, imagining that everyone loved hearing the truth. Luckily, what rudimentary forms of the internet that existed in the age were under imperial control and between Augustus, his mother, and grandmother, his was the shortest lived career as a historian.

Claudius was so unremarkable and forgettable than none of the emperors t date gave thought to granting him an official title and responsibilities. When Caligula did in fact grant him Consular powers, it was intended to be a reflection of Caligula’s own family history through Germanicus. To make sure that everyone understood this, Caligula proceeded to hound the poor man for money, often humiliating him into panic attacks and ulcers.

The Road to Emperor…erm

It was brief, accidental, and almost abruptly terminated because of curtains.

Some historians friendly claim that Claudius knew of the plot to assassinate Caligula because he suspiciously fled the scene of the crime soon after the assassination. I think this is just to give the poor man agency. It is more likely that he was squirreled away by parties intending to make the poor man emperor.

The praetorian that hoisted him away had to pry his hands off a curtain he was hiding behind; Claudius had been on the scene when Caligula’s German guard went berserk. It took hours to convince him they meant him no harm. He finally decided there was no difference between trusting them and dying there and then. Such a weak willed sickly man would be perfect for a figurehead.

Would you have trusted such a guy with secrets that could buy you a Colombian necktie?

What embers of the Senate had survived Caligula’s purges met to decide who would take up the role of princeps. Remember, we may call Augustus emperor but till now we had yet to formalize the idea of an emperor. When the Praetorian revealed to the group of old men they had a member of the imperial clan in custody and that it was he that would inherit the title of princeps, it took a while for them to remember such a guy existed!

Quickly, a deal was struck; Claudius would be perfect as emperor. None of the competing Senators would gain one up on the other, and with the stroke of a pen, the former historian and scholar could once again re-arrange history. Amnesties were thus offered out, a few Praetorians executed, and Rome had a new emperor.

Finally Emperor

Claudius was not born Tiberius Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. There was a ‘Nero’ somewhere in his name. Out went ‘Nero’ and in went “Caesar” and “Augustus”. In Egypt, the people knew him as Pharaoh. His official title was “Tiberius Claudius, Emperor and ruler of rulers, beloved of Isis and Ptah, the strong bull of the stable moon on the horizon.” In Rome, he often name-dropped, calling himself “filius Drusi” to remind people of his father.

His reputation was so lacking that where other emperors would offer donatives to the army to secure their goodwill, his own similar act was called a bribe. Most were shocked to hear he was brother to the famous Germanicus and related to people like Augustus, Livia Drusilla, Tiberius, and Germanicus. In fact, when they first heard of him they were thrilled, thinking it was Germanicus himself come back from the dead.

Hey, it was possible; some mystics out East were doing the very think right around this time in history.

When the truth came out, many did not know whether to be frustrated, disappointed, or angered at the deception. What happened is that when the Praetorian was declaring him emperor, they had to resort to naming him ‘Germanicus’ as a holding strategy until things cooled down.

A bronze head of Claudius, found in the River Alde in Suffolk, England.

As emperor, Claudius had to make many concessions and moves in order to secure his place. He bribed the Praetorians a disgusting amount to secure their loyalty. He bribed the Senate the provinces of Macedonia and Achaea, making them Senatorial provinces hence under their direct administration and control. Claudius even allowed the Senate to mint their own coin, something that had been stopped since Augustus.

He bribed the People and the army with the invasion of Britannia, a military venture whose proceeds in slaves and wealth was always welcome. Hundreds of thousands were granted Roman citizenship when they were given opportunities to settle in colonies, a departure from the old system that required rules such as owning certain amounts of property or military service.

Claudius was desperate to be known by people. He personally sat many judicial cases that were publicly viewed. To make sure people would always talk about the cases – and him by extension – he ordered that plaintiffs before the court remain within the city. He was so desperate for attention he gave freedom to Rhodes, exempted cities from Roman taxes, and personally intervened in disputes around the realm. He offered some old fellows in Trento citizenship when he could easily deny them.

When the Senate sat in session, he would sit with the Consuls, affecting the notion he was one of them. As censor, he had the power to dismiss Senators who no longer bore te qualification to sit among that august body. He did this job with grace, allowing them to withdraw without humiliation. He ordered the Secular Games, a celebration in memory of 800 years of Roman history…he was off by 10 years. He even granted Jews certain rights and freedoms within the Empire, making him one of Jewry’s closest and best allies.

Merits? Demerits? Mediocre!

Claudius was a people pleaser. Letting the Senate take back control over Macedonia and Achaea, minting their own coin; these actions would give the Senate considerable power over such provinces. They could even raise armies if the occasion demanded, armies that would in turn be used against Claudius. But Claudius allowed it; maybe because he truly wanted to cultivate their good graces. Or perhaps he was fearful of a shadowy group of 23…

Claudius’ life under the mule driver may have perhaps put some still in his spine. When he set up an administrative body over a port in Ostia, he did not hand over the task to the Senate. In fact, in many occasions, whenever Claudius set up an institution to manage some part of the empire, he did not turn to a member of the Senate to manage the organization. Instead, he turned to agents he selected, effectively cutting off routes to power previously enjoyed by Senators.

In return, Claudius may have faced the most coup attempts than most other emperors.

Why?

Perhaps it was a function of his lack of passion. Or because most conspirators did not fear him. In many cases, most emperors would implicate whoever they wanted following a coup, forcing many to buy Colombian neckties in order to ward off future problems.

Not Claudius.

Claudius executed his fair share of Senators and high-ranking officials. Some of them were even killed without trial, a tradition that many emperors would maintain over the long history of the empire. Even so, by the standards of his predecessors, Claudius was far less murderous than most.

Claudius died in AD 54, supposedly murdered by his wife Agrippina. Supposedly, Claudius was blundering by making comments about making his son by his third wife, Britannicus, his heir. To Agrippina, a politically powerful women and a key subject in our next entry, this was unacceptable. Agrippina also had a son, Nero – yes, him! – and she had no plans to allow someone else’s child take precedence.

Thus, Claudius died. His passing was so unremarkable that most accepted that he died of old age. It was possible. What was not plausible was that his food taster was allowed to live given the rumors going around. And so, his passing was accepted by a people anxious to move on with their lives. He was a good guy in my opinion, just that his underdog status was too underwhelming if that makes sense.

Er…someone just died!

Long Live whatshisname?

Summary.

Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (AD 37 – AD 68)

Nero was a calculative blunder on the part of the Senate and leadership of Rome. Since Augustus’ reign, the Senate had been looking for ways to retake control of Rome. Under Tiberius they had a reluctant princeps. Caligula’s madness was an outlier and in Claudius they found a weak emperor they could barely respect.

Nero’s own rise to power was borne on the wings of his mother, the formidable Agrippina the Younger, Claudius’ wife and a networker connected to most of the leading elements of Rome. In the eyes of many, Nero would only serve as a puppet in the hands of his mother, with the politically savvy Agrippina doing most of the ruling with the help of the Senators and leaders of Rome.

Nero killed Agrippina within five years of his ascension.

Things went downhill from there.

The Road to the throne

Like most emperors, Nero was highly popular among the lower classes, the army, and the Praetorian Guard. Of course, this meant that the higher nobility like the Senators and knights detested the man. Since way before the First Triumvirate, embers of the Senate always feared the rise of individuals popular among the people. Gracchus and his brother were killed because of their popularity. Marius and Sulla escaped such miserable fates, opting instead to terrorize the Senators.

The way power in Rome was shared can be derived from the emblem popular to the Romans during the Republic. They called themselves “S.P.Q.R.” The initials stood for Senatus Populusque Romanus or “Senate and the People of Rome.” The Senate saw themselves as different from the People and worked very hard to keep power in their hands. What achievements the People gained were zealously and jealousy guarded. In fact, many of the early emperors fashioned themselves as champions of the people. They would hold stations such as People’s Tribunes even though custom, tradition, and law required that the post be reserved for a commoner. Thus, Emperors would cultivate the people, and the Senate would try to sever the connection.

What was different about Nero was that it was his mother whose influence among the aristocracy helped bridge the gap. Early on, Claudius adopted him as a son, likely influenced by Agrippina the Younger. The two had been married since Nero was two years of age, and another eleven passed before the adoption. Why this happened is difficult to say. What we do know is that whatever accomplishments the early years of Nero’s reign managed cannot be separated from the efforts of Agrippina the Younger. With Agrippina, the Senate could be comfortable with the imperial clan; as a woman, she was not entirely in control and a puppet emperor was always good for business.

Agrippina the Younger

Her pedigree was excellent; daughter to Germanicus and granddaughter of Augustus, the fact that her family suffered under Sejanus kind of wiped away the negative of her relationship with Caligula. More importantly, she spent much of her early childhood with Germanicus in the armies on the frontiers. There, not only would she become highly popular among the common men in the armies, but also the high officers and legates seeking to initiate their political careers.

A bust of Agrippina the Younger, now at the National Museum in Warsaw.

Agrippina’s first marriage was to a politically connected bigwig by the name of Gnaeus Domitus Ahenobarbus. By all accounts, the man was a truly excellent specimen when it came to despicability. The man was a terror; he once had a servant killed because the man would not drink when ordered. He run his chariot over a child running across a street. He blinded the eye of a knight just because he was questioned by his social inferior. Couple these with rumors of his incestuous relationship with his sister and we can tell he was someone after Caligula’s own heart.

His impact on Agrippina is unknown. Perhaps Agrippina was influenced by her late husband, or her brother Caligula, both being excellent examples of bad humanity. What was worse was that she and her sisters were implicated in a murder plot against Caligula, the trial revealing handwritten letters supposedly written by her and her siblings. She was exiled, her properties grabbed by Caligula. She likely lived under the threat of death every moment Caligula was alive. Maybe such early experiences drove her to self-dependence. We don’t really know. What we do know is that she must have learnt a valuable lesson on trumped-up charges as a way to get rid of enemies.

Agrippina begun her political career by trying to get into the good graces – and tunics – of a Senator by the name of Galba. Yes, him. A future emperor.

When that didn’t work – Galba’s mother-in-law slapping her in public was a pointed hint – she turned her eyes towards another man by the name of Passienus Crispus, a two-time Consul and heavyweight politician. Her own relations with other powerful women in Rome was poor; Empress Messalina, Claudius’s wife, tried to kill Agrippina’s son because she feared the other woman’s influence. The plot failed. Instead, Agrippina’s husband, Crispus, died, allegedly poisoned by Agrippina to leave her his immense wealth.

The next target was a man called Pallas, his selection due to his proximity to Claudius. Historians are easy on Agrippina, with few suggesting the relationship was a design to get closer to Claudius. After all, even Romans frowned upon relationships between uncles and nieces Targaryens be damned.

In any case, Agrippina married Claudius to the happiness of the Senators. Not all were happy; a wife of Caligula, seen as a threat to Agrippina, was quickly charged with witchcraft and convinced to suicide lest she be made to buy a Colombian necktie. Empress Messalina was charged with treason and vanished from history. Her mother died under shady circumstances as well. The Praetorian Prefect, Rufrius Crispinus, who had heled ease Claudius’ rise, was eased into retirement in favor of Agrippina’s own loyal man.

The lessons of her own past must have been ringing in her dreams; in quick succession, several other political rivals were accused of various charges, among them a man charged with incest just so his formal engagement to Agrippina’s daughter could be cancelled in favor of a better alliance with a powerful Consul by the name of Licius Vittellius the Elder. The plan was for Octavia, Agrippina’s daughter, to marry the Consul’s own son.

To Agrippina, rather than wait for problems to arise, it was better to head them off. To this end, she also arranged the suicide of the poor betrothed young man’s brother. Of course, when Agrippina became Empress, her vision and ambitions improved. Very quickly, Nero was betrothed to Octavia and Britannicus, Emperor Claudius’ older son, sidelined from politics.

Evidently, given how good and adept she was at managing administration, enemies, and allies, Agrippina was a smooth operator on par with Augustus. More importantly, her way of arranging positions for allies in the Senate and others made her very likeable among her allies.

Back to Nero…er

A sculpture showing Agrippina crowning her son Nero.

That scene up above? Agrippina crowning Nero? Yeah. Nero no like. Nero no like at all.

Agrippina was jealous about power; when Nero begun having a relationship with a woman by the name of Claudia Acte, she tried to get Nero to drop her. Nero was having none of it. Later, Agrippina also objected to Nero cultivating a relationship with a woman named Poppaea Sabina, wife to Otho, the man who would rule but three months.

Some historians believe Agrippina was jealous at being replaced by a younger woman, taking the line that there was an incestuous relationship between mother and son nasty enough to make Cersei blush. Likely, Agrippina wanted Nero to be placid about the job of ruling and the appearance of Claudia Acte would likely drive Nero to be more manly about himself. A better explanation was that an active Nero would draw towards himself people hungry for power. Already, the Poppaea-Otho connection was a route to power that did not go through Agrippina. They were threats she needed to eliminate.

Nero moved faster than she did.

Nero dismissed Agrippina’s bodyguard. Next, in 55 AD, Nero had his step-brother Britannicus assassinated. Agrippina was getting too close to the politically sidelined son of the former emperor. She perhaps saw him a better option to control. Another rival by the name of Rubellius Plautus that was close to Agrippina was charged with treason and executed. A general named Corbullo, incidentally close to Agrippina and a father-in-law of the future emperor Domitian was also ordered to commit suicide.

Next, he had Pallas kicked out of the palace, likely in order to limit his mother’s influence. Nero brought in his own people to counter his mother’s influence. When Agrippina tried to control him, Nero offered up the ultimate threat: he would “lie flat,” flipping the table by leaving Rome and the throne to whoever.

Agrippina backed off.

Nero advanced.

In 59 AD, Agrippina was dead by the personal hands of Nero. No one knows exactly why or how. What we do know is that the glue that gummed the empire together was gone.

The Descent

Many of the people Nero executed or eliminated because of their ties to Agrippina appear to have had solid relationships with future emperors of Rome. Evidently, Agrippina had woven a network of relationships that died with her. Nero had capable men such as Seneca and Burro to help administer the empire. However, Burro died in 62 AD and Nero’s new friends in the Praetorian caused Seneca to be dismissed from office quickly after.

Next was his wife Octavia, a woman Nero likely detested because of his own mother’s influence. Nero first divorced her on charges of infertility. When the People rose up in cries at the unfairness of the act, he next accused her of infidelity and had her buy a Colombian necktie.

Nero was quickly making new friends, getting rid of old friends, and pushing old enemies even further. In the eyes of many, he was out of control.

Going Nuts!

Nero thought of himself as a consummate artist. Now, artists are geniuses, capable of describing the world in a way others are incapable. The problem is that Nero described the world in a way others perhaps did not appreciate as much as he did.

In 64 AD, Nero married a man by the name of Pythagoras – not him. Pythagoras was a common man and Nero wore the bridal shawl in this affair, indicating he was the female in the relationship. Nero perhaps meant to imply he was being wed to Rome, with Pythagoras perhaps representing the People.

Things became a bit mixed up and confusing during the latter parts of the ceremonies begun. Nero had a number of people tied to stakes. Then, dressed in animal skin, he went about chopping off the private parts of the men and women. The accounts are a bit confusing, the dating itself fudgy and uncertain. What is clear is that the emperor was a visionary and genius on a level impossible to reach. A level so high the common People could not appreciate.

Maybe his feelings were hurt by the lack of appreciation.

The same year, a great fire broke out in Rome. The fire gutted many sections of the city, including some of the poorer parts of Rome where many commoners huddled. Contemporary historians like Suetonius, Pliny the Elder, and Cassius Dio are merciless to the former emperor. Nero had suspiciously directed a play re-enacting the fall of Troy just before the play started. The great fire that broke out made for an excellent backdrop to the play’s scenery. There were reports of the emperor going around, fiddle in hand, playing the “Raines of Castame…” I mean fiddling the “Sack of Ilium,” Ilium being the modern name of the city of Troy.

Suetonius offers a competing hypothesis on why Nero started the fire. Apparently, Nero was displeased at how Rome was overcrowded. Worse, the overcrowding was by men and women so illiterate and uncultured they could not appreciate the fine symbolism of a man being wed by another. So Nero started a fire, his aim?

“Build Back Better.”

Regardless of the poor Christians blamed for the fire,

Downfall

Nero did build back better; the frescoes at the Domus Aurea he built were so startling that Michelangelo and Raphael rappelled down ropes just to study the art. Wider roads, grander buildings, better spacing.

All this required money.

A lot of money…

Money that required new taxes raised…

Tributes from the provinces…

The currency was devalued to ‘create’ more money…

And this is where the dreaded ‘23’ comes back up. This time, some 23 old men wearing red-stripped togas decided to draw the line.

You see, Nero’s revenue streams were good at collecting money. Problem is that his grand ambitions were too grand and sooner or later, even those streams would run out. Where else would he get the money from?

Borrow?

But then he would have to pay it all back lest his reputation as a cheapskate lower him in the eyes of the People. The People loved down-to-earth emperors, but not too down-to-earth. An Emperor had to have imperial majesty, an aura of invincibility, and more wealth that the aristocrats.

The easiest solution was to grab money. Grab it in a way no one could complain. To the visionary aristocrats and Senators, Nero would likely cook up some treason charges, wipe out ancient aristocratic families, and confiscate their wealth.

So…why not strike first?

The first to move was a group of 23…led by Gaius Calpurnius Piso in AD 65. The bid failed miserably, likely because they did not really number 23. Many died under interrogations and executions, among them Seneca, Nero’s old advisor.

Poppaea died in the same year, rumors being she was kicked to death by Mero during one of his insane rants. She is not important. It is what happened after her death.

Nero ordered a year’s worth of incense burnt at her funeral. This was on top of the enormous expenses incurred by his building ventures. On top of that, an unfortunate fellow by the name of Sporus was forced to marry Nero because he resembled the recently deceased Poppaea. Most body-doubles get to share the fates of their doppelgangers. So, according to the tradition of making body-doubles resemble the original, Nero had the poor fellow’s genitals cut off.

Death

Remember those taxes raised to fuel Nero’s artistic sense? Not many were happy about them. In fact, a number of provincial governors were downright unhappy. One governor Gaius Julius Vindex rose up in revolt. Governor Lucius Verginius Rufus was sent against him and defeated the would-be-rebel. What many did not anticipate was that Rufus’ troops would go on to declare him emperor. Rufus refused to accept the crown. His troops got mad. Nero likely begun to arrange Rufus’ assassination.

Another governor Servius Sulpicius Galba also rose up in revolt, declaring himself emperor. This particular governor was driven; back when Caligula was emperor, he was forced to run 20 miles alongside Caligula’s chariot. The experience must have been so traumatic that when Agrippina the Younger approached him with the intention of having an affair, he reported her to his mother-in-law.

Go figure!

Galba was more successful. He managed to draw the Praetorian Prefect to his camp. Nero was horrified at the thought of his head bodyguard hooking up with his rival and planned to run off to the East where he believed soldiers loyal to him waited. Quickly, he learned that they were not too happy with him. Some even suggested to him “Valar Morghulis,” “all men must die.” Of course, being Romans, their version was slightly different.

Nero, at this point certain that there were no friends or harbors to save him, contemplated suicide in one form or the other. Throwing himself into the Tiber, fleeing to Parthia, giving himself up to Galba, ordering a gladiator to slay him…in the last few hours of his life, Nero thought up many things. Finally, he ordered his servants to kill him; they had refused his previous order of one of them killing himself so that the perfectionist artist within could do it perfectly.

He was the last of the Julio-Claudian Dynasty.

Long Live the Emperor!

Let the Chaos Begin!

Summary.

I hope you enjoyed the good read about A History of Rome and her Emperors during the Julio-Claudian Dynasty.

READ: Year of the Four Emperors (68–69), which is the next Roman Empire Dynasty.

READ: In case you missed this previously, read on How it all started

1. A Brief History of Rome: Before the Roman Empire
2. Julio-Claudian dynasty (27 BC–AD 68) : 1st Roman Empire Dynasty.
3. The Year of the Four Emperors (68–69)
4. The Flavian Dynasty (69–96)

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